Reclaiming the Myth of the Self: A Soul Path for Women with ADHD

What if you're not broken, but simply misaligned?

Apr 09, 2025

Hi there, I’m Kat Wood (formerly known professionally as Kat Ellinger; and still known as that in my other work as a professional film critic), and this is the beginning of a new chapter in my work: one that brings together everything I’ve learned over the past few years, particularly through my studies in Jungian psychology, and how that relates to my own journey with ADHD. If you know my podcast ADHD Wild Women, you’ll know this has been a long time coming.

After an extended break, during which I completed a Master’s degree in Jungian and Post Jungian Studies, I’ve returned with a renewed focus: the soul path of ADHD women. What follows is both an overview and an invitation: a foundation for the work I’ll be developing over the coming months.

A Diagnosis, A Reframing, A Reckoning

I was 43 when I was diagnosed with ADHD. Not as late as some, but late enough. It forced me to confront everything I previously thought I knew about myself as false, leaving me with the task of reframing decades of my life. Before that point, I had no idea what was “wrong” with me. Why I couldn’t seem to do life the way others did. Why I always felt out of sync, as if everyone else was tuned into current events while I was receiving signals from a toy monkey crashing his cymbals, like Homer Simpson.

In essence, my diagnosis was a lightbulb moment, but it also came with a kind of grief. Why hadn’t anyone noticed? Why hadn’t I noticed, even though my own son had been diagnosed back in the ’90s? I’d seen therapists, doctors, counsellors—why had it never come up? It reframed everything in my past, but it also left me having to navigate my own internalised ableism (“I’m broken; I must fix this”), and an extraordinary amount of internalised misogyny—particularly around how I spoke to myself as a woman (“You are too much… never enough”). In a way then, my diagnosis kind of liberated me, but it wasn’t without a significant amount of pain and pushing.

Not Always a Superpower

Like many, I flirted with the idea of ADHD as a “superpower.” And it can be. But it’s hard to feel powerful when you’re stuck on the edge of the bed for an hour trying to summon the will to put your shoes on but instead can’t help replaying some argument you had in 1997, where you came off looking like an ass. Or when you leave the house three times for the same appointment, late each time, because you keep forgetting things, only to realise you need to go back again because you still haven’t picked up the car key. Or when it takes you three weeks to get to the post office and you finally do… only to find the parcel you went to send is still sitting on your desk at home.

Not exactly superhero material. Not always fast. Not always functional.

What Didn’t Work — and What Did

Medication wasn’t my path. That’s not to say I’m against it. I’m fully in support of whatever works. But for me, it wasn’t what I needed. I tried all the planners (so many planners), all the apps (so many apps). I had five years of therapy, trying to unpick the layers of complex trauma gained from living an undiagnosed, chaotic life. And while this help me reframe the past, it did little to provide me with a clear map towards a meaningful future.

And then, almost by accident — Jung would probably call this synchronicity — I found myself drawn to Jungian psychology. Initially, it was through feminist writers like Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Sharon Blackie, and Maureen Murdock, who used Jung’s theories and practice to tell stories about women for women. And so, I didn’t even realise I was engaging with Jung’s work at first: it just resonated. Then, when I did understand where it came from, I knew I needed to know more, so I embarked on my Masters in order to do that. And here I am…

The Myth You’re Living

Carl Jung wrote of the significant moment when he broke away from Freud’s more limited view of the unconscious and discovered something far more profound, as finally realising his “task of tasks”. He now understood that the unconscious wasn’t simply a place of repressed thoughts and trauma, as Freud argued. It also held archetypes—patterns, characters, stories—that carry a psychic charge. That is to say, he reached an understanding that the myths and stories that carry these archetypes — via projection —don’t just reflect us; they shape us.

Jung’s “task of tasks” then, as he described it, was to uncover the myth he was living. Following in his footsteps, I realised I needed to do the same, especially how that myth pertained to the reality of living with ADHD.

Because the myth I was living—the unconscious story of the incompetent ADHD woman—was literally trashing my life and making me pretty miserable in the process. I had to ask: what story was I telling myself about who I was? What story was I telling others about who I was? And how was this story framing my ADHD?

Most importantly: could I rewrite it?

That question led me deeper into Jung’s work. Eventually, it led me to undertake a Master’s degree, to try and make sense of what had helped me, and whether it might help others too.

The Soul Path

So what emerged from all of this? A belief that what we are missing—particularly as ADHD women—is a soul-based approach to healing and self-understanding.

We are often told to “hack” ADHD, to get more productive, to fit better into a neurotypical world. And of course, we want to get things done. We have goals, dreams, creative projects. But none of that can happen meaningfully if we don’t first integrate the parts of ourselves that have been cast into the shadows.

Yes, ADHD comes with very real, often disabling symptoms. Yes, there are practical challenges. And yes, the psychological weight—especially the trauma—is immense. But beneath all of that, I believe the root problem is one of the soul.

How do we live in alignment when our very way of being is incompatible with the values of the culture around us?

The Collective Shadow

Jung warned of what happens when a society becomes one-sided. Post-Enlightenment, western culture began privileging reason, science, productivity, and control, thus exiling everything irrational, intuitive, mythic, emotional, spiritual. The result is a society that views those who do not fit into its rational, productive mould as defective, broken, without any inherent value.

ADHD, in this context, lives in the collective shadow. We are seen as chaotic, irrational, lazy, unproductive because of the way our core selves are incongruent to the values of an overly rational, productive, western view of the ideal self. And because of that, we internalise these views. We carry them in our own personal shadows.

As women, the problem is further impacted by our sex. We also carry the collective shadow of femininity under patriarchy where we are expected to be quiet, accommodating, organised, tidy, consistent. When we don’t conform, we are punished socially and psychologically. So we mask. We people-please. Until we burn out, or manage squeeze ourselves into oddly fitting shoes, and exhausted accommodating grins, that end up burning our faces, hurting our mouths. It’s not a sustainable, meaningful, or particularly comfortable or fulfilling way to live. And it’s a route that forever asks us to repress or compromise our core selves.

Individuation and the ADHD Soul

Jungian psychology offers an alternative: individuation. The process of becoming whole. Not just ego plus unconscious, but integrating all the contradictory parts of the psyche into a more complete self.

And here’s what I argued in my Masters thesis (and what I want to continue here in my work on ADHD): I believe neurodivergent people are uniquely suited to this process.

Because we already live with a high degree of differentiation. We know the mask isn’t real. We feel the contradiction between who we are and who we’re expected to be. We are naturally attuned to the unconscious, to intuition, to symbolism. We often operate from a soul level without even realising it.

But we also face more obstacles. Because of the pressure to mask. Because of the shame we carry. Because of the parts of ourselves that have been rejected: by others, by the culture, by ourselves.

Toward a New Myth

What we need, I believe, is a new myth. One that allows for our unique way of being. One that acknowledges the sacred fire we carry.

Because ADHD women are not broken. We are non-linear, intuitive, creative, visionary. We feel deeply. We see patterns others miss. We live in vivid colour, even when that colour feels overwhelming.

When we are misaligned with our nature, we suffer. But when we are in alignment—when we listen to what the soul needs—something extraordinary becomes possible. A numinous, magical life. Not in spite of ADHD, but because of it.

The Journey Ahead

Over the next 12 months, I’ll be sharing a 12-step framework for reclaiming the ADHD soul, rooted in Jungian theory, myth, and the lived experience of neurodivergence. A new model. A soul path.

This is not about fixing. It’s about remembering who we are.

I’ll be exploring this work here, in writing, and on ADHD Wild Women. I’d love for you to join me—share your experiences, your questions, your resistance, your joy. Because we’ve been isolated long enough. We’ve masked for too long. It’s time to gather around the fire.

A Prompt for You

As you move into your week, I want to leave you with a gentle journal prompt, or something to simply ponder:

What if you’re not broken, but misaligned?
What would alignment look like for you?
What does your soul need right now?

For me, this week, my soul needs peace, and time to work on my love projects. That’s what I’ll be honouring.

Until next time, stay wild.